A Deep Dive into Vipassana Meditation – Breathing, Observing, Equanimity

I will start by telling you that this blog is written from the depths of my being, and I will open up to narrate my experience at the Vipassana retreat. It is entirely personal, so I invite you to read with critical thinking and an open heart, and feel free to ask any questions.

This blog post may be a bit dense, so I've decided to divide it into three phases: Breathe, Observe, and Equanimity—these were the focal points during my 10 days of meditation.

BREATHING

Andreina, a soul friend with whom I've had limited encounters but a fascinating connection, told me, "Amazonia trust, it's a gift you're giving yourself". Indeed, I would like to confirm that this was a gift where I had an absolute connection with my being—a gift I want to give myself every year. But why? Simply, this practice purify your spirit and body through intimate connection with your breath, observing while learning to maintain equanimity.

This technique begins with a noble and simple act—observing our natural breath to focus the mind. Normally, we breathe 16 to 18 times per minute. During such practices, your breath slows down significantly. "Highly practiced Zen monks, for example, breathe 4 or 5 times per minute," as mentioned in the book Zen and the Brain.

When you sharpen your mind through breathing, you begin to reprogram your mind. The first step is becoming aware of your breath. The practice then leads you to learn ANAPANA, paying absolute attention to what happens in the area below the nostrils and above the upper lip while being aware of your natural breath. After working for two days or more on Anapana, you start practicing Vipassana.

In Vipassana discipline, you systematically move through and observe from the top of your head to your feet, scanning every sensation in your body while seated in a meditation position. The observation must be objective, understanding impermanence. You should always be moving your attention and not linger too long in any part of the body.

Here, you discover that the skin is undoubtedly the most sensitive organ we have. I believe that when we make love, we connect with this reality only if we decide to be completely immersed in this act of pure, emotional, and pleasurable surrender. Making love can undoubtedly be a meditative act in the company of another naked soul.

While meditating, I felt ecstasy, I felt pain, I could observe everything happening on my skin—I could feel the vibration in my elbow, the tingling in my toes, the pain in my legs, the air on my face. I noticed how heavy the left side of my body was; I observed the mental resistance I created, observed my patterns—all of this constantly changing. This is where I understood, through observation, the intense concept of IMPERMANENCE.

Through Vipassana, I connected with the power of the mind and with the theory that Clarissa Pinkola emphasizes—The purpose of Solitude is to be completely oneself. It is the best cure for the often habitual state of extreme fatigue we live in. Solitude is not an absence of energy or action but an abundance of wild provisions that the soul transmits to us. It is an oracle to listen to the inner self, a guide impossible to hear many times amid the noise of everyday life. Meditation is a way to connect, listen to my soul, connect with my intuition.

But we are not talking about solitude where you are at home with your computer; I am talking about absolute solitude that overwhelmed me at many moments, and where the most important thing was to trust the process and breathe.

Breathe, love, breathe.

OBSERVATION

When you decide to enter this retreat, you must follow a fairly strict code of discipline—leave your phone (electronic devices), maintain silence throughout the course, only talk to the teachers, invite eye contact or gesture with any other student. No writing, no exercise of any kind.

I remember sitting in the waiting room before starting to observe myself, how I was entering—I hadn't slept at all the night before, I was exhausted. I observed the other students—how each one arrived, with their expectations, with their questions. Everyone had a different backpack; some had BIG suitcases. But at the end, you enter with the most important and the heaviest thing: what Michael Singer, calls your internal roommate.

Pictures from the meditation Centre, Dhamma Dipa- Hereford, UK.

In terms of material, my bag carried two sets of clothes, my coconut oil, my makeup bag, shampoo, conditioner, my yellow blanket that made me feel at home, an oil, my towels, and a special cushion I acquired for this retreat. The heaviest thing I carried was the dozen thoughts with which I entered. That anxious internal conversation.

Today, I agree with what Michael Singer writes in his book "The Untethered Soul," "You are ready to grow when you finally realize that the 'I' that is always thinking inside you will never be satisfied."

Every day, I observed myself, and I saw how my mind was organizing itself through the processes I was experiencing day by day. I observed my desire to be creative, making hearts with pebbles. I observed my anxiety when I walked fast, observed my skin and how much I had neglected self-care spaces. I observed all the burns on my arms caused by the grill; I observed how much I liked creating different hairstyles.

I observed that I connected with the energy of certain women, sought to sit at the table with a girl because it brought me happiness. I observed that my body was happy with the space I created by not consuming anything at night, so my body was ready for the morning meditations. I observed that I am very productive in the mornings and that I am very disciplined when I set myself a goal. Even if I was tired, I insisted on going to the meditation hall. I walked barefoot on the grass to draw energy from the earth and seek centering. I don't want to bore you with everything I observed about myself, both physically and materially, but I understood the power of observation.

EQUANIMITY

My meditation practices began with Catalina in April 2021, where I started to explore mind training, the subconscious, the power of breath, and what silence mean. However, the practices have always been guided.

For a while, I had been looking for something that would help me meditate without depending on someone's guidance or the guidance of a sound.

Vipassana is a technique where, through your natural breath, you focus on observing everything that happens in your body, inviting you to understand the concept of equanimity. You don't need anything external; it all depends on you.

Vipassana led me to explore a concept that I knew from studying but had never explored—EQUANIMITY. Here, I recalled Viktor Frankl, a specialist in Logotherapy, who taught me a lot through his book "Man's Search for Meaning" and who, in my opinion, understood the concept of equanimity very well and practiced it every day in the Auschwitz concentration camp.

While practicing Vipassana, we had to remain still for an hour, just breathing and observing while maintaining absolute equanimity. Pain would take hold due to being in the same position for a long time, and I had to simply observe the pain, keep calm and serene, and understand that this too shall pass. During this hour, I explored very pleasant sensations, but I had to maintain equanimity even in the face of these sensations because they too were temporary. All the students ended up understanding that one should not become attached to these sensations.

This begins to generate a sense of mental peace that I had not explored before.

The stoic philosopher Epictetus spoke about equanimity as an essential virtue. "He explained that people cannot control all external circumstances, but they have the power to control their responses and attitudes towards those circumstances". Alan Watts explored "equanimity from a perspective more oriented towards Eastern and Western philosophy. He emphasized the importance of flowing with life rather than resisting it and how this attitude can lead to greater equanimity". For Buddha Siddhartha, equanimity was one of the 'Four Noble Truths'.

Drawing that a Japanese person made for me in a hostel

The brain has been studied by many scientists, and I am learning to understand how mine works as part of my human evolution and to lead a fulfilling life and serve in this world with wisdom and intention. I believe that this is a profound, daily journey that requires effort, and I will remember, in the face of anything, that I must breathe, observe, and maintain equanimity.

Certainly, 'learning to live in a spiritual world and also in the external reality' is a decision. The books I mention in this post and that are part of my study include:

Zen and the Brain - Taisen Deshimaru & Paul Chauchard
The Untethered Soul - Michael Singer
Women Who Run with the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola
Man's Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl

Vipassana Centers if you want to apply:

https://www.vridhamma.org/Vipassana-Centers

Naked Woman,

Amazonia Arroyo

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